Monday 7 April 2008

The Problem Child (Joke)

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. what is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.

Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'

Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'

Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy.: Shake hands


Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Fire truck

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork

Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME.

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to
IIM AHMEDABAD,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'.
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Meet the smallest girl of the world

A teenager from India who stands at a tiny 1ft 11in (58cm) tall is the smallest girl in the world.
Jyoti Amge, 14, is shorter than the average two-year-old child and only weighs 11lb (5kg).
She has a form of dwarfism called achondroplasia and won't grow any taller than her current height.
Due to her size, Jyoti has to have clothes and jewellery made for her. She sleeps in a tiny bed and uses special plates and cutlery to eat, as normal-sized utensils are too big.
Despite this, she goes to a regular school in Nagpur, central India, where she has her own small desk and chair, and her classmates treat her like any other student.



Jyoti also shares common interests with other teenagers, with a love for DVDs and fashionable dresses.
She said: 'I am proud of being small. I love all the attention I get. I'm not scared of being small and I don't regret it.
'I'm just the same as other people. I eat like you, dream like you. I don't feel any different.'

Jyoti is treated like a mini-celebrity in her home town, where people flock to meet her and some even treat her like a goddess.

She will even be releasing an album with her favourite Indian pop star, the bhangra/rap star Mika Singh.


Her mum, Ranjana Amge, 45, said: 'When Jyoti was born, she seemed quite normal. We came to know about her disorder when she was five.
'We consulted a specialist and he said she will be this size all of her life. Jyoti is small, yet cute, and we love her very much.'
Jyoti is ambitious and hopes to work as a Bollywood actress one day.
She said: 'I would love to work in a big city like Mumbai, act in films and travel to London and America.

'I'm proud of being small. I love all the attention I get because of it.'
Her dad, Kishanji Amge, 52, said: 'I can't separate myself from her even for a single day. I love her very much.
'She makes me proud. Lots of gurus come to see and bless her. They pray for her happiness and long life.'

Source

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Windows Vista Source Code leaked


Source

AdSense Terms and Conditions Updated


AdSense users are up for some "I Agree" clicking in the near future, if they want to continue using Google’s service, as one of the general changes in the terms and conditions is looming around the corner. The development of the Internet, Web 2.0 alongside it, is constantly demanding new technologies and services to be pushed up front by every company in order to keep up with the times and trends.

The upcoming changes are Google’s way of making sure that there’s no
legal ambiguity between any aspects of the AdSense program, and furthermore to assure that every possible aspect of the projects in development is already covered when they hit the Web.

Two broad categories will be targeted by the new rules and regulations. The first has the future products and features at its core, and this comes right as the DoubleClick acquisition will finally receive the big OK from the European Union regulators, the last to have second thoughts about the non-monopolistic approach to advertising that Google is hinting at. Upcoming ad formats and mediums are the ones pointed at, such as Gadget Ads, which offers the option to deliver the Mountain View-based company’s money-making content offline.

The changes to this section aren’t grand in design, just re-writes of the old terms and conditions designed to cover the possibility that future products be priced, paid or managed differently than the current ones, Julie Beckmann, AdSense Publisher Support, writes in a post on the Google AdSense Blog.

Category number two includes the troublesome privacy requirements, an area Google has always had problems with. Just last week, the EU Article 29 Working Party announced that Search Engines have to shorten the time the cookies are active, among other things. Right in the heels of this decision, the announcement about the update to the terms and conditions comes as a natural next step. Publishers will be obliged to notify their users about all the data-collecting beacons and cookies delivered in the ad-serving process, Beckman points out.

The changes don’t limit to those mentioned above and the whole process is long and tiring. However, reviewing the updated information is a must for AdSense publishers, if they are to keep using the product and services abiding the law. There's no need to skim through the modifications though, the date until they have to be accepted (or not) is the 25th of May.

Post Taken from:-http://news.softpedia.com/news/AdSense-Terms-and-Conditions-Updated-79621.shtml
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